Calendar Girls
Few things in the world are as mind numbing as standing watch during a side-scan sonar survey. All you do is watch a computer screen that displays a never-ending waterfall plot. After a few days of this you start to look for any kind of entertainment you can find. For example...
So after holding countless deep and meaningful debates about the war, string theory, global climate change and the meaning of life, the universe and everything my watchmate and I really just needed a mindless distraction. In what has to be the strangest line I've ever heard, Eric says: "Hey, we could look at the girls the calendar my mom gave me!" Uh, yeah??? I didn't know what to think but hey, why not? So out comes the "Making Waves" swimsuit calendar.
Now even though the calendar said 2006, the pictures were clearly taken long before. As par with most swimsuit calendars, some of the women are very attractive, some are so-so and clearly some of the girls were selected for their "athletic figures" (read: face=train wreck). One of our Ukrainian observers sat off to the side, showing little interest as the rest of us took our turns critiquing each month's representative. At the end of our judging session I noticed we had left out our foreign friend and so in the interest of maintaining international relations I motioned to see if he wished to peruse the calendar. He took the calendar and over the next few minutes flipped through each month before quietly placing it on the table behind him.
Towards the end of the watch I asked him what he thought about the calendar girls. In his partial English, he had a single line response: "My wife... better." Ok then, well done comrade.
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